have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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