I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
