If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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