we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize