I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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