WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
