and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
