so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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