I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
