nut hugger
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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