Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
