Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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