Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
