hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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