Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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