we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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