i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
