Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
