He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
