I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
