Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
