you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
