It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
