Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize