We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
