I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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