Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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