I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
soo... how was my night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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