I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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