i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
