Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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