I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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