well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I got her a Nickelback box set.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
