With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
