"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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