I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
