The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
