Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
