Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
