Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
