Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
