She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
