yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Alive.
So much puke
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
