I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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