i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
