Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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