i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
