whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
