so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
