wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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