Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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