make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
