LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize