i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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