dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
