very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
