Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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