I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
