I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
did i just pee glitter
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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